"Every Breath I Take" chapter 3

Cathy is on a roll this weekend - and I hope you're feeling as spoiled as I am by her frequent updates. I'm really enjoying her story and I'm so glad she's allowing me to share it with the readers of this blog. 

In her email Cathy told me to let you know that there probably won't be any updates until next weekend as she has a busy week ahead. I'm keeping my fingers crossed she'll find some writing time and that her imagination keeps cooperating. 

Mine isn't at the moment, so I'm happy someone else is providing me with something to keep you all entertained. Thanks, Cathy! xxx :-)

As with the previous chapters I'd like to remind you that Josh's condition is fictional and I take no responsibility for the medical accuracy of the story.

Chapter 3

Maggie’s reply came a few minutes later, but to Josh it had felt like an eternity. He had been tempted to get out of his wheelchair and pace, but he realized he really didn’t have the energy for it. Instead he finished his coffee and after tossing the cup into the trashcan behind the bench he had parked his wheelchair next to he tried to focus on the family of ducks that were swimming around the pond. He wasn’t very successful; he kept glancing at his iPhone. When it finally buzzed with an incoming text he felt his heard pound in his chest as he read the message from Maggie.

Lunch sounds great! I was going to suggest we have a picnic by the pond in Sterling Park (the forecast for the weekend is great and I’ve spent way too much time inside between lectures and work), but it’s a bit of a walk to get there from the park entrance, so I’m not sure if that would work for you, since you mentioned you’re not able to do anything physically straining.

Josh was sitting by the pond she was suggesting they’d have their picnic by; he would have no problem getting there in his wheelchair. He just wasn’t sure if he wanted to introduce her to that. He felt the ventilator was probably enough to deal with for her. “She’ll find out sooner or later,” a voice in his head told him and he quickly typed his reply, deciding honesty was the best policy.

Funny you suggest that spot – I’m actually sitting by the pond in Sterling Park right now, watching the ducks swim by. I have a power wheelchair I use so I don’t have to walk long distances – my condition means I don’t have much endurance. If you’re okay with me using the wheelchair I’m absolutely game for a picnic here.

In a spur of them moment he added two pictures to the message; a snapshot of his current view and a selfie. In the selfie both the ventilator tubing coming from his tracheostomy and the wheelchair were visible, but when he looked at it he realized it was a pretty good picture of his face. Again his thumb hovered above the send button for a few moments while he gathered the courage to push it. When the message left his phone he braced himself for bad news. He didn’t have to wait long for a reply and the message on the screen made him smile broadly.

Nice pics! You’re even more handsome than I remembered… :) Meet me by the entrance from Ruby Street at noon Saturday, ok? I’ll bring the food – could you take care of the drinks?

Josh didn’t take long to type out a reply.

Sounds great! I’ll take care of the drinks, no problem. Looking forward to seeing you again.

This time he didn’t hesitate to hit send.

Ditto! Oh, you wouldn’t happen to have a picnic blanket by the way? And do you have any dietary restrictions I should be aware of when I cook? I was thinking of bringing a variety of finger foods.

Josh replied quickly.

I have a quilt we can use and I don’t have any dietary restrictions. See you Saturday at noon.

After he sent the message to Maggie he glanced at his watch and realized he’d been sitting by the pond for over an hour. He felt hunger gnawing in his stomach and decided it was time to head home and fix some dinner.

# - # - #

Saturday started out as any other day for Josh; he woke up at 7 am and spent the next hour doing his morning routine.  He got dressed in a pair of sweatpants and an old t-shirt and with his ventilator in tow headed to his office to finish a couple of things he hadn’t had time for the previous day. He could leave it ‘til Monday, but he needed something to do to kill time until it was time to get ready for his date with Maggie.

At 11 AM Josh was back in the bathroom. He noticed a small stain on the edge of the pad under the outer cannula and neck plate of his tracheostomy tube and replaced it with a fresh one. Then he adjusted the collar around his neck that held the tube in place to make sure it was correctly positioned so he was comfortable.  With that done he ran a comb through his hair and even added a little wax to make sure it stayed in place. After brushing his teeth for the second time that day he put on dash of cologne and headed to the bedroom to change into a more date-appropriate outfit than his sweats. By the time he started changing his clothes he’d been off the ventilator for about 25 minutes and he was surprised he wasn’t feeling more out of breath than he was.

After dressing he surveyed his appearance in the full-length mirror in his bedroom; he realized he actually looked pretty good and he was happy with the outfit he’d put together. He’d opted for a pair of dark blue jeans that had been washed a couple times so they didn’t look brand new, a brown leather belt for the jeans and a light blue button down shirt tucked into the jeans.  He’d left the top two buttons of the shirt undone and had rolled the sleeves up to his elbows. He chose to wear a pair of brown leather loafers on his feet.  Although he didn’t feel too out of breath it was a relief to attach the tubes of from the portable ventilator to his tracheostomy tube and feel the air being pushed into his lungs again.

With the ventilator in tow he headed to the kitchen where he had a small cooler ready on the counter for the drinks he was bringing to the picnic. Since it was a lunch date he’d opted for non-alcoholic beverages; his homemade iced tea and water. He placed the bottles in the cooler with a few icepacks to keep them cold and then he zipped the cooler closed. He brought it to the garage where his wheelchair was waiting.

In the garage he put the cooler into the large canvas tote bag that held the folded quilt he was bringing and then he attached the ventilator to the back of the chair with what was becoming practiced ease. He hung the tote from the handles on the back and after he’d made sure it wouldn’t interfere with the ventilator or the tubes he sat down in the chair and turned the power on.

# - # - #

Maggie had arrived at the park a few minutes early and she was waiting for Josh by the entrance to the park.  She was both nervous and excited about their date. She instantly felt drawn to him when she saw him at the restaurant; there was a spark there she couldn’t quite explain. She wondered what was wrong with him; he didn’t look like he was sick, but since he appeared to need a ventilator to breathe and used a wheelchair instead of walking it seemed like something was seriously wrong.

After a couple of minutes Maggie spotted a man in a wheelchair approaching and when he got closer she recognized him; it was Josh.  It was weird to see him in the wheelchair and with the ventilator tubes extending from his throat and down his front he reminded her of the quadriplegics she’d seen at the nursing home her grandma had lived at a few years earlier.  The wheelchair was a power chair, but it wasn’t as overwhelming as the ones she’d seen people in at the nursing home.  The last time she’d seen him he’d been walking, so the contrast was big. Then her eyes fell on his handsome face and as she noticed how nervous he looked a wide smile spread across her face.

# - # - #

Josh spotted Maggie as soon as he got close to the entrance to the park. She was even prettier than he remembered, her hair wasn’t in a ponytail and he noticed how wavy it was, flowing down her back. She was dressed in jeans that looked comfortably worn and a white linen tunic. As soon she spotted him she hurried toward him. She looked a little taken aback at first, probably processing the sight of him seated in the wheelchair with the ventilator tubes coming from his tracheostomy tube. He realized he probably looked really crippled, but he relaxed a bit as a smile spread across her face.

“Hi Josh,” she said cheerily. “It’s good to see you again.”

“Good to see you too,” he managed, hoping he didn’t sound too nervous. “The weather is great, perfect for a picnic.”

“It is. So, are you going to show me your secret spot like you promised to?”

“Of course, just follow me. Oh, and let me take that,” he said pointing to the picnic basket she was carrying.

“It’s okay, it’s not really heavy.”

“Don’t be silly, put it in my lap and let me be a gentleman. Please?”

“Since you look like a begging puppy right now I can’t resist,” she said with a small giggle. Then she handed the basket over.

# - # - #

The first hour of their date had been filled eating their lunch and small talk about ‘safe’ topics.  Now they had packed away the leftovers and they were sitting on the quilt, leaning their back’s against the trunk of a large tree and enjoying the view of the pond. Josh had been waiting for Maggie to ask questions about his condition since they met and wasn’t surprised when she finally asked ‘the’ question.

“So, and please don’t be offended because I ask so bluntly, what’s wrong with you?” Maggie asked after they’d finished eating.

“No offense taken, I’m actually glad you ask.  I was born with a rare deteriorating lung condition. My lungs have been slowly been getting worse my whole life. When I was 18, right after I graduated high school, I had a permanent tracheostomy tube inserted to my throat and started using a ventilator at night. Up until a couple of months ago I didn’t use a ventilator during the day, but I was constantly short of breath, struggling to breathe and I had chronic headaches because my oxygen levels were way too low. My doctor ordered me to be on the ventilator during the day too and now I’m on a ventilator about 22 hours a day.”

“There’s no cure or treatment to make you better?”

He shook his head. “Nope. It’s a rare condition and there’s some research being done, but they’re nowhere near finding a cure. They’ve done a couple of lung transplants on people with my condition. Both patients started developing symptoms again pretty quickly and they’re both on ventilators again.”

“That sucks.”

“It’s okay. Of course I’d like to be in perfect health, but honestly I don’t feel like things are too bad. Apart from depending on a ventilator to help me breathe and using my wheelchair instead of walking long distances I live a pretty normal life. I can do most things I want to. I understand if you feel it’s too much to deal with.”

“Let me decide what’s too much to deal with, okay?” Maggie said. “I really like you and I want to get to know you. Since you obviously have health issues learning about those is part of getting to know you. I appreciate your candor.”

“One thing I’ve learned from living with a chronic health issue for all of my life is that honesty tends to be the best policy.”

“I totally agree with honesty being the best policy,” Maggie said. “You mentioned working from home, what do you work with?”

“I’m a software engineer. My job isn’t the most exciting, but it pays pretty well and working home and making my own schedule is great because of my health issues.” Then he turned the attention back to her.  “You mentioned lectures the other day, are you in college?”

“Yeah, I’m a senior at the University here. If all goes to plan I’ll graduate in the spring.”

“What’s your major?”

“Nutrition. Kind of ironic that I’m working at Applebee’s to pay my bills.”

“No comment,” Josh said with a chuckle. “Um, can I ask you something?”

“Of course, but I may not have a good answer for you,” she replied with a teasing grin.

“Why did you want to get to know me? I think most people see the ventilator and probably think I’m contagious or something.”

“I’m not most people. I don’t really have a good answer. There was just something about you that clicked for me; it was…like I instantly knew that I wanted to get to know you and I felt a connection…I can’t really explain it.”

“Really? I noticed you were flirting, but I haven’t dated anyone since high school, so I had no idea how to respond to it. My friend kicked some sense into me and got me to leave my card for you. I’m glad you’re more confident than me and took the initiative. I’ve had a really good time today.”

“Me too. Um, I have to go with my sister to have dinner with with parents tonight, last minute family thing, but would you like to do something tomorrow? I’m working evening shifts at Applebee’s three nights next week and I have to study for an exam and then I’m working the weekend and I don’t know when I’ll have time to see you again after tomorrow…” She stopped abruptly, realizing she was rambling.

“Sure, I’d love to see you again tomorrow. How about you come to my place and I’ll cook us dinner and we can just hang out and continue getting to know each other. I have a huge movie collection and video games too, if we run out of things to talk about.”

“That sounds great!” She checked the time. “Shit! I’ve had such a good time I totally lost track of what time it is. I’ve got to hurry or I’ll miss my bus. Living in the middle of nowhere without a car sucks! If I miss this bus I’ll have to wait two hours for the next one and won’t be ready in time for my sister to pick me up.”

“Where do you live?”

“Out in Pineville, in the trailer park by Wal-Mart.”

“I’ll drive you home. My house is just two blocks from here.”

“Are you sure? It’s not too much trouble?”

“I wouldn’t have offered if it was too much trouble. I’ll have to swap the battery on my ventilator before we head out, but that only takes a minute.”

Maggie impulsively leaned over and kissed his cheek. “Thanks, Josh! You’re a lifesaver!”

He blushed and smiled crookedly. “Nah, I’m just being selfish, I wanna spend as much time with you as possible because I’m really enjoying your company. And driving you home means Iearning where you live so I can be a gentleman and pick you up tomorrow so you don’t have to worry about the bus. Since it’s Sunday my guess is there’s even fewer buses running than today?”

“I’m not even going to argue with you on that because I doubt I’ll be able to win.”

“You’re right about that,” he said with a cocky smile. He was starting to relax around Maggie and he felt his confidence building a little.

# - # - #

Josh was tired when he got back to his house after he’d driven Maggie home. He realized he had probably overdone it slightly; it was after six and he’d pretty much been on the go for the past seven hours.  Just as he walked into the house his cell phone started buzzing. He dug it out of his jeans pocket and flopped down on the couch. It was Andrew and Josh had a pretty good idea about why he was calling.

“Hi Andrew,” he greeted his friend.

“Hey. How’d your date go?”

“Straight to the point, huh? It was great. She’s great and we really clicked.”

“That’s awesome! And she’s okay with your condition?”

“I think so. At least that’s what she said. She’s coming here for dinner tomorrow.”

“That soon?”

“Yeah, she’s got a lot going on next week and then she’s working all weekend, so if we don’t meet tomorrow it’ll probably be over a week until we see each other again.”

“I’m really happy to hear that things are working out, Josh.  What are you up to tonight?”

“I’m going eat something and then I’m going to bed. I’m exhausted and need to rest. I’ll just spend the evening in bed and watch some TV or movies until I fall asleep.”

 “Okay. I hope you rest up and have an awesome dinner date tomorrow. Lets do something next week, watch a game or something, okay?”

“Thanks, man. I’ll call you and we’ll definitely get together sometime soon.”

# - # - #

By 8 pm Josh was ready for bed, dressed in a pair of pajama pants and a V-necked t-shirt. He plugged  the mobile ventilator into an outlet to charge the batteries and climbed into bed. The first thing he did when he was sitting in bed was to turn on his bedside ventilator, then he uncapped his tracheostomy tube and connected the ventilator tubes to it and grabbed a syringe from a container on his nightstand and inserted it into the inflation tube hanging from the outer cannula and inflated the cuff fully to prevent any leaks during the night. 

He raised the head of his bed and found a comfortable position with a couple of pillows behind his back. He grabbed the TV remote from his nightstand and channel surfed until he found a movie he’d seen before so it wouldn’t matter if he fell asleep during it. His thoughts were more focused on his dinner date with Maggie the next day than what was happening on the screen anyway

To be continued.