Finding Unexpected Love - Chapter 4

Over the next month Meaghan and Bryan spent increasingly more time together. They both had busy schedules and Bryan’s work hours sometimes made it a challenge for them to find the time to spend together, but they managed to squeeze in several dinner dates, another movie, a gallery opening and even a couple of lunches. Meaghan appreciated Bryan’s easygoing demeanor and his warm personality and as she got to know him even better his wheelchair faded into the background and she didn’t think much about it anymore. One thing that was bothering her was that Bryan seemed very reluctant about moving their intimacy beyond kissing. They had not spent the night together yet; the Friday weekend they’d had dinner at a restaurant just about a block from Meaghan’s apartment and she’d suggested that Bryan spend the night at her place. He’d politely declined, claiming he didn’t have everything he needed with him.  Meaghan wished he would open up to her about his disability; he still hadn’t told her exactly why he was in a wheelchair, but she was pretty sure he was paralyzed. His legs appeared to be thinner than normal and the few times she’d seen him transfer from his wheelchair to a different seat it was clear that he couldn’t move them at all. He always used his hands to move and adjust them. 

Bryan’s attraction to Meaghan had grown steadily as they’d spent more time together.  There was one thing he was uncertain about how to deal with; she didn’t seem to be bothered by his disability, but he had a strong feeling she was curious and wanted to know more. She had gently pushed for them to move their relationship into the bedroom, but Bryan was reluctant. He was worried that the AFO braces and the condom catheter and bed bag he wore at night would be overwhelming and scare her away. At the same time he was aware that if he wanted their relationship to progress he needed to be open and honest with her. A Friday evening about five weeks after they first met found them eating dinner at a Thai place not far from Bryan’s apartment and as they were finishing their desserts he decided to take a leap of faith.


“Wanna go to my place when we’re finished here? We could go to the bar down the block, but I do have a really nice bottle of red wine in my wine cabinet.”

“I’d love to,” Meaghan beamed. “I have to admit I’m eager to see your apartment, especially since you’ve seen mine.”

“It’s not as stylish as your place, but it’s home.” The first time he’d been at Meaghan’s apartment he’d been blown away. It was very evident that she was a design professional; everything matched, but at the same time it was warm and personal. He’d been pleasantly surprised to find out that she lived in a new building that was pretty accessible and thanks to her rather minimalistic décor the apartment wasn’t overcrowded with furniture.

“You dress well, so I’m sure your decorating skills are good too.”

“Well, you’re about to find out,” Bryan said as the waitress appeared by the table. He asked for the check.

---------------------- “This is it,” Bryan said as he unlocked his front door and wheeled inside. He flicked on the light and Meaghan followed him inside He watched her walk slowly down the hallway toward the living room as he dumped his keys and wallet on the small table by the door and removed the bag from the back of his wheelchair and left it on the floor next to the table. Then he followed Meaghan into his living room.

“I like it,” she said, looking around the room. “It’s very ‘you’.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah,” she smiled as she meandered around his spacious living room; one wall was wall-to-wall windows with a sliding door in the middle. The furniture was masculine; a large L-shaped leather couch with a coffee table in front of it. A large flat-screen TV hung on the wall opposite of the couch and Meaghan assumed that the dark wooden cabinet beneath it held Bryan’s entertainment center. The other end of the room was furnished with a round dining table and a credenza. An open doorway next to the credenza led into the kitchen.  Bryan smiled, gestured for Meaghan to sit down on the couch and wheeled into the kitchen. He returned a few minutes later with a bottle of wine, a corkscrew and two glasses in his lap.  Meaghan watched as he deposited the items on the coffee table before he lined his wheelchair up with the couch, preparing to transfer. He moved his legs off the footrest and placed one hand on the couch and one on the edge of the seat of his wheelchair and in one smooth move he lifted his body from the wheelchair to the couch. When that was done he adjusted his legs a little and then he reached for the wine bottle and corkscrew. He made quick work of uncorking the bottle and poured two glasses. He handed one to Meaghan and grabbed the second one for himself. They sat in silence and sipped their wine for a few minutes, until Meaghan decided to break the silence.

“How long have you lived here?”

“Little over three years now. I bought the apartment while I was in rehab; my old place was on the second floor of a townhouse with no elevator. Moving back wasn’t an option.”

“Oh…so you’ve only been in a wheelchair for three years?” Meaghan asked tentatively. She’d been curious about Bryan’s disability since she first laid eyes on his wheelchair.

“I was injured three and a half years ago. You can ask questions Meaghan, it won’t offend me and I can tell you’re curious. You’ve been wanting to ask me about my disability since you found out about it.”

“Busted…” she sighed. “I just don’t want to push you into talking about it if you’re not ready.”

“One of the reasons I brought you here this evening is that I think we need to talk about it. I have to admit I’m not looking forward to it though.” Meaghan noticed that his eyes held a guarded expression and he appeared to be nervous.

“Why?” she queried gently. She’d hoped that the past few weeks had proven to Bryan that she was serious about their relationship and not put off by his disability.

“Some of the stuff you’re about to find out isn’t exactly sexy and I won’t blame you if you decide to bolt for the door.” Bryan sighed softly and closed his eyes for a moment before he carried on. “I guess I should start by telling you a bit about my injury; I’m a T-12 complete paraplegic. I can’t feel or move anything from my hips down. It’s like that part of my body doesn’t exist.”

“How did you get injured, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“I fell off a ladder while I helped Josh paint his house. Landed on the edge of his deck and crushed a couple of vertebras in my lower back and severed my spinal cord.”

Meaghan gasped; “That must have been hard to deal with for your family? You getting injured while helping your brother?”

“In a way I think it was harder for Josh to deal with than me when we got the news that my injuries were permanent and I’d never walk again. I know he felt guilty for a while, but it wasn’t anyone’s fault, it was just bad luck.”

“It looks like you’re back in a good place now?”

“We are, but it took some work to get there.”  Bryan had a couple of sips of his while before he carried on. “Do you know anything about spinal cord injuries?”

“Not much. I’ve done some research after I met you so I’m guessing you’re about to tell me you have a bowel and bladder routine and do regular skin checks?”

“Yeah, that’s part of it. That doesn’t freak you out?”

“Well, maybe a bit, but not enough to make me bolt for the door.”

“That’s a relief.”

“What did you mean by ‘that’s part of it’?”

Bryan sighed heavily. “During the day I catheterize myself at least every four hours and I monitor my fluid intake carefully to make sure I cath myself on time and don’t have accidents since I can’t feel it when I need to use the bathroom. I wear a condom catheter with a bed bag at night, to prevent accidents.”

“What’s that?”

“The condom catheter is what it sounds like; it’s basically a condom, but it has a tube coming out of the end. At night I attach the tube to a bag that hangs of the side of the bed and collect the urine. I wear the condom catheter at work too, with a leg bag, which is a bag I attach to my calf instead of the side of the bed.”

“I see,” Meaghan said, sounding a bit overwhelmed.

“To add to the ‘sexy-cripple’ bedtime routine I also wear AFO braces to bed. They keep my feet in dorsiflexion; they stretch the muscles and tendons in my calves and prevent my feet from pointing downwards. They also prevent me from developing sores on my heels; which I’m really prone to get. Ready to bolt for the door yet?” Bryan was clearly embarrassed and worried about Meaghan’s reaction to what he’d just told her. She answered by curling up against his side on the couch, which caused him to wrap his arm around her shoulders.

“Not the door, but your bedroom. It has been a long week and I’m tired.”

To be continued...